Is Your Comfort Zone A Bit Too Comfy? Finding Growth In Discomfort

Younger professionals coming up through the ranks of the workplace must often learn the ropes of the industry, the company and their own individual tasks. Every role they take on is new and presents them with challenges and opportunities for growth. The learning curve is steep and exciting.

As more established professionals, we have already put in the time to find our strengths and lean into them. Often when we find our main skill set, that discovery is what helps us rise to leadership positions.

However, while utilizing our strengths is one of the keys to solid leadership, we must also be very intentional about continuing our growth. Leaders with only one set of skills are only useful for a certain period of time, but then the company or economy shifts and that skill may no longer be what is needed.

An article from McKinsey discusses the year 2000 as a major example of how leaders needed to shift their skill sets and focus. “When the dot-com stock bubble burst, the leaders of those online companies, who had been nurturing fast growth for years, suddenly found themselves managing for profitability. Instead of spending whatever it might take to grow, they had to pivot and find ways to save money by laying people off, canceling projects, and eliminating waste. Those are two entirely different sets of muscles, and a leader has to be versatile enough to make the switch.”

Imagine yourself in a circle—your very own comfort zone. There you are warm, safe and cozy. However, if that circle is small, you cannot move around a whole lot. You may be stuck standing in one spot for quite a while, but if you take a small step outside of your comfort zone and try something new, that circle expands and adjusts to fit your growth, and your safe and cozy spot gets a bit bigger. However, if you take too big a step outside of that circle, the circle cannot adjust in time, and you lose your footing and fall to disastrous results.

Many of the CEOs in the 2000 stock bubble burst could not recover. Their comfort zone was too small, and learning so many new skills all at once was too much for them. For that reason, I encourage leaders to grow their strengths and experience levels outside of a crisis. That way, when challenging times arrive, they are in a better position to adjust and navigate the situation.

Taking those small steps outside of the safe circle looks slightly different for every leader. Perhaps it is taking a course on a subject matter they are not familiar with or touring company facilities and venues. It may be offering to give a presentation or lead an internal town hall. It could also be asking a colleague to take you on a “day in the life” of a different position or department. Maybe it is taking on a business coach. There are many ways to grow in knowledge, and hands-on experiences and tasks outside your main skill set can be invaluable in the future.

That said, leaders do not have to do everything themselves. On the contrary, a team of talented and seasoned collaborators is an asset to any leader. Surround yourself with these people and learn from them.

Let’s say you do not have any experience with public speaking or presentations. Seek out someone you admire with that skill and ask them to show you the ropes. Volunteer to do a presentation with them or ask them to do it yourself but with their coaching. It can sometimes be hard to ask for help because it is a way of admitting a weakness, but often, others will be flattered that you asked for their assistance and are more than willing to guide you. By surrounding yourself with people possessing differing skill sets, you can not only grow yourself but also build an expert team available to help you in a crisis.

Have you ever heard the yogi mantra, “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable”? While leaders should lean into their strengths, there is also much to be said about working toward building muscles in weaker areas. Sometimes a feeling of discomfort is a sign of growth. Are you feeling too comfy right now? What can you do today to go outside of your comfort zone and get growing?

Using Data To Make The Case For Learning And Development

Are you a leader invested in the professional development of your team? (Good. Keep reading.)

Unfortunately, convincing the budget-makers to allot money toward upskilling can be challenging. But you can use data as a powerful tool to support your case.

Money Talks

And one of the key points it can make is that learning and development (L&D) is an investment. As a recent Chief article by Heather Sundell eloquently puts it: “There are plenty of reasons why [upskilling] is beneficial for the bottom line. … First, it’s cost effective since it enables employers to enhance their workforce without increasing headcount. Hiring isn’t just expensive; it’s also time intensive. The average time to fill a position is 36 days, if not longer. Focusing on internal talent helps hiring managers avoid the lengthy interview process.”

And a willingness to invest in upskilling doesn’t only affect hiring, but also employee engagement. Sundell goes on to explain that “28.3% of workers who left jobs voluntarily resigned because they saw few opportunities for growth or advancement.” The statistics indicate that a sense of staleness and lack of growth can be a strong motivator for employees to leave. Essentially, investing in upskilling can save money and retain employees.

Where To Begin

Congratulations. You have successfully made your case for using a portion of the budget for learning and development, and you have been granted permission to invest in training employees. Where do you begin?

There are several ways to get started. I suggest first conducting a needs analysis of the current skills and knowledge within your team. Ask yourself:

  • What are the basic skills and knowledge necessary for similar roles in the industry?
  • Does everyone on your team possess those skills?
  • Have you noticed any pain points within your team when it comes to certain projects that could indicate a knowledge gap?

Also, poll your team and ask what they feel is lacking in their own training that could be helpful for their day-to-day tasks. Remind them that this is not a criticism of their work, but rather an interest in identifying their weak points to help them grow.

The Continuing Importance Of Data

Once you choose the appropriate learning programs designed to augment your team’s knowledge and skill sets, data will continue to play a vital role in tracking success metrics and making the case for continued training.

Before the development sessions begin, note down the baseline so that you have “before” and “after” metrics of each employee’s knowledge and skill level for the tasks they are training in. Keep tabs throughout the process to measure their improvement and retention. Try to make these data points as quantifiable as possible.

The metrics you use should be based on your specific goals for the learning your employees are undergoing. What are your objectives for the individual and the team?

For example, let’s say a senior marketing manager is tasked with driving more online engagement for the company. She decides to invest in employee training to help the team create higher-quality content that would achieve that desired engagement. Her success metrics should match these specific goals, so she might create the following “before” and “after” categories to help track her employees’ progress:

  • Types of content created.
  • Time needed to create each piece of content.
  • Online interactions (clicks/comments/shares).
  • Traffic driven to website.

As you can see, her metrics are very much in line with her specific company goals for online interaction and engagement.

Conclusion

As leaders, we should use every tool available to invest in our employees for a more engaging and productive workplace, and data is critical throughout every step of the L&D process.

Navigating Social Events Outside Of Work

Leaders recognize that positive social interactions are a critical factor in creating cohesive and productive teams, so many companies are delegating internal social committees that plan quarterly events to bring co-workers together in an informal way. These events are often obligatory to attend during the workday, and employees benefit from a break from the routine and a casual way to mix and mingle. These events also provide a chance for people to get to know each other on a more personal level, which can then transfer into their professional working relationships.

I have seen positive outcomes from these business-led get-togethers. However, navigating social events outside of working hours is trickier. While there are benefits for co-workers to socialize and get to know one another outside of a work environment, they can also take away from an individual’s work-life balance.

Employees in a company have a wide range of personalities, values and stages of life. While some people do not mind engaging with co-workers outside of office hours, others would prefer to stay home. They may have a family or a long commute that prohibits their schedule and blocks flexibility.

For example, one of my clients—let’s call him Michael—consistently declines golf invitations from his colleagues. He is happily married with four children and chooses to spend his weekends at home with family, spending Saturdays at baseball tournaments, impromptu ice cream trips, picnics with old friends or time in the backyard. He strives to spend quality time with his family, which makes him happy. His commitment to a healthy work-life balance is admirable.

However, he recently found out that one of his single colleagues was chosen for a promotion over him. Coincidentally, this co-worker accepted the Saturday golf invitations, and so my client feels that his colleague had an unfair social advantage and therefore received the promotion.

This situation is tricky. No one should be “punished” for choosing to spend their off-work hours at home, but it is also true that sometimes work opportunities happen at social events outside of the office. Choosing not to participate in social events with colleagues or bosses can potentially be detrimental to your growth potential at work.

So what is the solution? Creative brainstorming.

First, Michael sat down and gave serious thought to what he envisioned his work-life balance would be. He talked it over with his wife, and together they decided that weekends would continue to be time spent with family, but he could make time on weeknights for dinners or drinks with colleagues two to three times a month.

Instead of simply declining weekend invitations, he made counteroffers to the people from whom those invitations came. If he was invited to a barbecue on the weekend, he suggested a coffee or dinner during the week instead. This way he showed that he had an interest in getting to know that person while still holding boundaries for his weekend time. He would still get a social moment without taking time away from his family.

Over time, he reported that his colleagues accepted his alternative offers to meet up and respected his boundaries. He no longer feels out of the loop when others meet on Saturdays, and he is optimistic about his growth potential within the company.

Managing social obligations and events outside of work can be challenging because we know that maintaining a healthy work-life balance is nonnegotiable. However, fostering positive relationships with our co-workers is essential for productivity and morale in the place where we spend most of our day. These social relationships can not only affect our daily work environment but also our potential for growth. Knowing how to hold boundaries while also creatively brainstorming like Michael can help you navigate those social work invitations when they come your way.

Adapting From A ‘Me’ Mindset To A ‘We’ Perspective

“I just don’t understand,” Melissa confided over coffee in our recent leadership coaching session. “I excelled in school and always received praise from my bosses, so when this subpar annual evaluation came out, I was devastated.”

Melissa (whose name and details I’ve changed for confidentiality) is a competent and intelligent businessperson. She was hired straight out of an Ivy League school to work in the financial district in NYC. Her financial expertise and results-driven attitude soon landed her a promotion that put her in a leadership role over a team of five analysts, but the transition has been a struggle.

It’s not just her; this story of adjusting to the complexities and nuances of a new leadership role is common.

From Personal Accomplishments To Team Performance

The Harvard Business Review explains that workers who can drive results or possess technical expertise are often promoted to leadership positions. But in these leadership positions, the metrics for success have suddenly changed. In their previous roles, they were rewarded for “personal accomplishments [and now they] must learn to recalibrate to a definition of success based on the team’s collective performance.”

In other words, newly promoted leaders may have been operating under a “me” mindset and are abruptly expected to switch gears and operate under a “we” perspective. The primary focus of a leader is no longer based on their individual goals but rather on how well they manage their direct reports—i.e., the success of their team.

For many—like Melissa—this switch in perspective can be quite a disheartening struggle. What can help?

From Narrow Focus To The Big Picture

The first step is to slowly transition from a narrow, individual focus to that of the company’s big picture.

For some people, switching from “me” to “we” can feel like a loss of control because the leader’s gauge for success is more than just what they can accomplish on their own. When promoted, managing the goals and workflow of others can feel less tangential and a bit out of their control. You cannot do everyone’s work, after all—delegation is essential.

However, because senior leaders are a part of directing and guiding the big picture of the company, they actually have more control than before—not less. Being able to widen the lens from an individual piece of the puzzle to a company-wide focus is the first step in coming into your power as a leader.

From Individual Goals To Collective Success

Next comes effective goal-setting. During their transition period, a newly assigned leader should observe, research, listen and conduct conversations with colleagues about the company’s short- and long-term goals, its trajectory, expectations and how each team will contribute to those goals. Then the new leader can lay out specific objectives and progress markers for their team.

Within these goal-setting conversations, clear roles need to be laid out so that everyone understands their area of responsibility and can take pride in it. It might also be valuable to hold team meetings in which everyone hears about the roles, objectives and responsibilities of other members so that they can see how each person’s work interweaves with their own and how each person contributes to the group in a unique way.

This participation will help a leader take ownership and pride in the team’s work so that seeing team goals come to fruition is as satisfying as celebrating their own success. In this way, leadership should lead to more, not less, pride and satisfaction, as leaders enjoy the achievements of everyone on the team.

Final Thoughts

This switch from “me” to “we” takes time, repetition and the “retraining” of thoughts and ideas. Patience is key. Taking leadership classes or enrolling in coaching sessions can also be helpful because an outside observer can help course correct or introduce concepts that expand one’s perspective.

Teamwork can be challenging at first, but practice makes progress. Leaders who embrace the “we” perspective often find that their roles are even more fulfilling than they ever thought possible.

Mindful Language In The Workplace

Everyone likes to feel included in the workplace, and statistics show that many employees stay in their jobs longer when they feel accepted and valued. In cases where they feel excluded and undervalued, they tend to leave sooner or produce sub-par work. Most executives recognize the importance of cultivating an inclusive environment, but this can be a difficult process.

One key aspect of inclusivity is mindful language. Words have power, so we need to choose ours wisely. Here’s how to do it.

Start with awareness about the makeup of your team members.

My client Michael works for an international corporation, and his team stretches across the globe. Over the past year or so, he started noticing a disconnect with certain employees. They were not openly hostile or rude, but simply a bit more closed off with him. After consideration, he realized that several of these team members had direct connections to the war in Ukraine. Either they had lived there at some point or they had family members still in the danger zone.

Michael also realized that he was unwittingly using expressions that included war terminology, such as “don’t shoot the messenger” and “fighting an uphill battle.” While these idioms are built into mainstream American culture, they had struck a nerve with Michael’s teammates who were enduring real-time suffering from war. By actively working toward avoiding violent terminology in his discourse with colleagues, he was able to reestablish healthy working relationships with those employees.

(Disclaimer: While understanding people’s backgrounds and beliefs can be helpful for you in using mindful language, only make note of personal information offered freely during the course of normal conversations. Do not ask probing personal questions that could make people feel uncomfortable. Not only is that behavior illegal, but it can also be off-putting and disconcerting for employees.)

Stay inclusive.

For example, the slang term “guys” is often used to address a group of people regardless of gender. However, some people may feel that the use of a masculine term excludes any women or nonbinary people in a group. While not everyone feels this way, a mindful leader should use gender-inclusive vocabulary and simply omit “guys” from their vernacular for those who do care—try swapping it for “folks.”

Also be aware of unintentional ethnic slurs or racist language. I have heard leaders use terms like “slaving away” or “cakewalk”—both idioms that stem from racist practices and thought in the United States. Once you are aware that a phrase is rooted in racism, avoid it.

Mindful language is rooted in diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging. Ask yourself if you are using vocabulary that helps all employees feel included or the opposite. Is anything you say potentially insensitive, or could it make someone feel uneasy or disconnected from the group?

It’s worth it.

While analyzing your speech can be a long process, even tedious at times, you will be a better and more respected leader for it. Showing thoughtfulness in your way of speaking demonstrates inclusivity and ensures that your messages resound loud and clear without getting bogged down in potentially offensive vernacular.