The High Cost Of Emotional Inflexibility

You’ve tried writing your affirmations and faithfully repeating them each day. You’ve tried not sweating the small stuff. You’ve made lists of goals and worked on being an effective executive. Is there something more basic you could be working on to make yourself more successful in business and in life? Something that’s not external, but something personal and very, very internal?

Many people, especially those who have a natural tendency to view life in an analytical way, may be missing something basic: the core values that make them who they are. These values get lost in the noise of the internal monologue that makes up each human’s ongoing soundtrack.

In her book, Emotional Agility, psychologist Susan David, Ph.D. stresses the importance of detaching oneself from this inner monologue. She says when people buy into those thoughts and treat them as facts, they “sap important cognitive resources that could be put to better use.”

Emotional inflexibility is keeping you trapped with these negative and nonproductive thoughts. Until you can match up your work environment with your company’s core beliefs and values, you’ll continue to struggle. It’s also important to understand if your own values correlate with those of your company. It’s difficult to be successful or happy if those two are at odds with one another.

It will require some honest assessment on your part. What is your company’s mission statement? Does it resonate with you? What are your company’s stated core values? Now that you have a fair comparison, how many similarities are there versus differences?

You’ll need to develop a plan to get the intended outcome. Should you stay where you are, move to a different department or division, change companies or strike out on your own? Once you’re on your chosen path, you’ll need to do a regular check-in: Are former objectives still aligned with today’s goals?

It’s valuable to have a mentor on your side who can tell you when you’re reverting back to emotional inflexibility and old habits. Find someone you respect with core values similar to yours. This trusted advisor can remind you of your goals if you start to backslide or get distracted. Your mentor will also remind you to celebrate your successes while you’re learning to ban those repetitive, negative thoughts.

This article has previously been featured on Forbes

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