A Curious Leader: Keep Asking Questions



“Be curious, not judgmental,” quotes the loveable protagonist from the acclaimed show Ted Lasso. This scene is a classic “mic drop” moment that I find inspiring. While the origin of the quote is murky, and the character is fictional, the sentiment is simple and effective.

Curiosity is an underestimated and understated leadership trait. Asking questions and searching for answers is a powerful tool for any career.

Growth Mindset

In a world of constant change, curiosity is a sign of a growth mindset—a willingness and ability to change and adapt. Asking good questions allows you to understand challenges from all different angles to make better-informed decisions.

For example, one of my clients, Leslie, was promoted to a new role within the company she had been working at for years. Though she wanted to impress and was excited about the opportunity, she took the first few months to ask lots of questions. Despite her experience, Leslie knew that there was so much more to know about the workings of that new department and industry in general.

Harnessing her innate curiosity and pairing it with critical thinking, she evaluated the current processes set in place and found that several of the standards and norms had been created decades prior, according to the market at the time. By making a few tweaks to update and rejuvenate certain rules and regulations that better fit the current-day economy, she created several more earnings opportunities for the company that had been previously overlooked. Her process of asking questions paid off—literally. Nobody had thought to ask questions in years or reexamine the status quo. Her curiosity was key to both her personal growth and the company’s.

What If …?

Asking open-ended questions such as “What if …?” is also a marker of curiosity that aids leaders’ foresight in certain situations. Questioning current processes or wondering what the future will hold can help a leader anticipate and adapt to changes in the business world.

Resilience is the idea that people can take a challenge and make it into a beneficial situation. Curiosity allows them to do just that—urging them to examine all sides of a situation, ask questions and then come to a fuller understanding of every circumstance, which allows that leader to better navigate their team through it.

Relationships With Coworkers

Curiosity can also aid in team building and interpersonal relationships within your team.

In a diverse office, there are all types of backgrounds and personalities, so there are bound to be conflicts and misunderstandings on any given team. Asking open-ended questions can help people navigate tricky situations.

For example, Melissa worked on a tight-knit team of six people, and while her boss seemed content with Melissa’s work, her co-worker Alice wanted to go over every project that Melissa was working on. Melissa felt crowded and that her colleague was overstepping her bounds by making so many tweaks and changes to her projects. Instead of letting those feelings of frustration ruin the relationship, she let her curiosity take over.

She invited Alice to have coffee with her and asked questions such as “What interests you about this presentation?” and “Do you believe there is more I could be doing on this project?” and “Where does this project overlap with your responsibilities?”

Through this line of questioning, Melissa discovered that Alice was interested in learning more about the project Melissa was working on because she wanted to learn more about the subject material in general. Alice also thrived in a teamwork environment, so she felt that collaborating on Melissa’s project allowed her to better perform in her own tasks. In fact, she was hoping that Melissa would take the initiative to offer feedback on Alice’s projects to emulate a more collaborative effort.

By understanding Alice’s perspective, Melissa and her colleague were able to forge a better working relationship with boundaries and healthy collaboration. As Ted Lasso suggested, they decided to avoid judgment and pursue curiosity.

Final Thoughts

So, how can leaders foster curiosity in themselves? If curiosity does not come naturally to you, it can be practiced and cultivated in a variety of ways. We can—and should—be perpetual students.

By participating in workshops or taking classes relevant to your industry or career, you will automatically be learning new things and sparking new questions. You can also make a point of regularly talking to a variety of people with different backgrounds and perspectives. Asking about their viewpoints and thoughts can spark fascinating and eye-opening conversations. Schedule time in your calendar to reflect on them, too.

By consistently asking questions and searching for answers, leaders have the potential to disrupt the status quo and transform their work and teams into productive and rewarding places. So, what has you curious today?

Do You Need To Clean Out Your Communication Filters?




Former presidential speechwriter James Humes is often quoted as saying, “The art of communication is the language of leadership.” I wholeheartedly agree that effective communication is an art form—and a soft skill that leaders must develop.

How ‘Filters’ Shape How We Receive Communication

One set of obstacles to clear communication is our own individual filters by which we both convey and process information. Our personal experiences and upbringing help shape the development of our communication style and perception of the world. These filters differ from person to person, and in any given office setting—especially a diverse workplace with different nationalities, economic backgrounds and generations all working together—there are countless experiences represented.

As an example, my client, whom I’ll call Lauren, runs a team of women from the Gen-Z and Millennial generations. She takes pride in their success and likes to take them under her wing, offering feedback to help guide them in their projects and tasks. Her intention is to boost their confidence and careers. She did not have a mentor in her formative years and would have liked one. So, she tries to use her own experience and expertise to uplift her team. However, one of her mentees did not take Lauren’s criticism well and began to resent the feedback.

After analyzing the situation, Lauren realized that this mentee came from a previous workplace that prioritized perfectionism and productivity. When Lauren provided constructive feedback, the mentee interpreted the message as a negative opinion of her work and a criticism of her performance and abilities. Once Lauren understood the filter through which the mentee was processing this information, she was able to change how she communicated; she even openly discussed with the mentee that her feedback was meant to uplift, not bring her down. Once she received that reassurance, the mentee was able to adjust her communication filter and start receiving Lauren’s guidance in a more gracious and open way.

Beware Of Cloudy Filters

This type of breakdown in communication happens all the time. Cloudy filters or dust from the past can distort our perception of interactions on a daily basis. A woman who was bullied by the popular girls in high school might be wary of anything a pretty or “popular” officemate says to her. An extrovert might think that the guy with glasses is rude because he never greets her in the hallway; really, he is a shy introvert for whom small talk is difficult. A colleague might feel slighted by coworkers who show up a few minutes late to her meetings because punctuality was a sign of respect in her family, and tardiness was a sign of disrespect.

Each of these people comes with “cloudy filters,” applying past experiences to present-day situations. While the past is valuable, and sometimes these filters are accurate and helpful, sometimes they need to be examined, addressed and dusted off.

Leaders: Examine Your Own Filters

To practice the art of communication, leaders should examine their own filters. What past experiences are shaping how we receive information? What feelings keep popping up in certain situations that might be indicative of our own filters? Have there been encounters with colleagues where we were unable to see eye to eye, and how might our filter have been a part of that inability to communicate? Maybe things that have been said (or have gone unsaid) were interpreted in a different way than they were intended.

By understanding that these communication filters exist in all of us, leaders are in a better position to examine and possibly readjust their language and communication strategies to both receive input without unintentional biases as well as better provide clear messaging to others in the workplace.

Shaping Your Job To Fit Like A Glove



When a role seems tailor-made to your strengths and skill set, you have a better chance of success. The jobs that fit like a glove can seem rare, but with a bit of intentional effort and thoughtful evaluation, today’s business leaders can shape their position to find the perfect fit.

First, we must take a big step back from our to-do list and evaluate the big picture of our role. Often, when onboarding in a new leadership position, we are given the facts about what the previous occupant did. Historically speaking, what was the person in that role responsible for, and how did they achieve their goals?

While that information during a leadership transition can be incredibly useful, remember that you are not your predecessor. You have your own set of strengths and talents.

For example, one of my former clients—let’s call her Heather—was hired as a marketing director in a company whose main clientele was Hispanic. The person who previously occupied the role oversaw the creation of bilingual marketing campaigns geared toward that specific demographic. He took the already existing English material and worked to translate it into Spanish, so when Heather took on the position, there were already campaigns in place.

She could have easily continued within the parameters that her predecessor had set, but her skill set was different. She identified the need for developing campaigns in Spanish first, as the language felt more natural and represented the company better culturally when the campaigns were written first in Spanish for Spanish speakers—as opposed to simple translations from materials written in English. She worked to gather a reliable team of Spanish-speaking creatives to design campaigns moving forward, which were all very well received.

Do you see the difference? The role required both people to create marketing campaigns, but they did it in different ways. The previous employee was a fantastic translator and worked according to his own skill set, whereas Heather knew that her value came from organizing teams to create and distribute authentic campaigns in the target language. She understood the position’s overarching goals and molded how she worked to better fit her strengths and talents. Following the path that the previous director had taken would have been ill-advised.

So, how can you tailor-fit your position to best suit you? A helpful exercise I encourage my clients to do is to write a job description for themselves in their current role. This is beneficial not only when starting a new role but also when evaluating your current one. As the economy and companies change, roles do, too. Perhaps the original job description that you were hired for has changed or evolved over time, and you need to be aware of those shifts, however subtle they are.

Once you have your job description, discuss it with your team and supervisor. Make sure that you are all on the same page.

Next, look at your strengths. What do you bring to the table to help achieve the benchmarks of this role? Imagine a simple Venn diagram with two circles—one is the demands of the job, and the other is your strengths. Where do those two circles intersect? Focus on that intersection and home in on the areas where you can excel and contribute.

Instead of getting bogged down with the historical “must-dos” of the role, it may be time to evaluate what your individual capabilities can bring to the team to meet the current needs. This simple idea can revolutionize the way that we take on our work. We do not have to get bogged down in our to-do lists, but instead identify and focus on the tasks that align with our strengths, delegating the rest to capable teammates. In time, you too may find that you have shaped your position to be a perfect fit.

The Art Of Quitting



Quitting has a bad rap. How often are we told to “keep going” and “never give up?” The catchphrase from the movie Galaxy Quest comes to mind—”Never give up. Never surrender!”

Parents often encourage children to continue a sport or activity they do not like and can show disappointment when they want to leave. Or we quietly judge a friend for quitting something, whether it is a relationship, a goal, an activity or a job.

Ultimately, those sentiments come from a good place. Yes, we should not quit everything we ever try, and phrases such as “a quitter never wins, and a winner never quits” on motivational posters are meant to encourage us to keep going even when we encounter challenges. However, that type of encouragement can go too far—making people feel guilty for wanting to leave something that simply does not make them happy or denies them the opportunity to flourish. In fact, I would argue that sometimes quitting is essential for success.

In many ways, I have seen successful entrepreneurs and business leaders starting to normalize quitting—in a good way. We recognize the truth that sometimes we must give things up to make space in other areas of our lives.

January 1 is a prime example for what I call “positive” quitting. On New Year’s Day, people vow to give up smoking or other vices. In recent years, “Sober January” has become popular—a month in which partied-out people choose to give up alcohol. In the Christian tradition, Lent is a season of giving something up for 40 days. Some men celebrate “Movember”—a month in which they give up shaving to raise awareness for men’s health.

The practice of quitting is more celebrated in our culture than we may have previously thought. What lessons can executive leaders take from the practice of “quitting” something? After all, saying “no” to one thing frees up time and energy that we can invest in other projects and initiatives.

I speak from personal experience. When my career began, I was working in a corporate role, and my boss immediately recognized my love for working with others to help them succeed. He fostered that drive within me, and asked me to build, launch and support an internal team. From that experience, I knew that coaching was for me. I dived into leadership books and training materials and enrolled in coaching school, earning my first coaching certification. After a few years, I decided to take a leap and quit the corporate role to start my own company and pursue coaching full time. By saying “no” to a more traditional salaried job, I had the time and energy to pursue my true calling, which turned out to be highly successful and fulfilling. To become a trusted figure and leader in the coaching industry, I had to quit something else first.

But quitting does not have to be as drastic as leaving your job. Perhaps it is giving up on a project, either delegating to another team or trashing it completely. It is saying “no” to unnecessary meetings. Freeing up that time and energy allows for more intentional, focused work elsewhere.

While I believe in saying “no” to certain things, I also encourage my clients to be intentional with their quitting strategy. Do not quit a difficult project just because it is challenging. Instead, quitting should be reserved for leaving one thing that limits you from succeeding in other, more important projects. In a way, quitting is an art form. It requires a lot of thought on the “why” and “how.” So what does quitting mean for you? Is there a project that you should say “no” to?

Exhibiting Adaptability In A Leadership Transition



The phrase ‘change is constant’ is a major oxymoron, yet also true. In any successful, long-lived company, there will be moments of instability and employment churn. CEOs and other team leaders retire, and new leadership can be brought in from the outside. While new leadership can be a vitalizing force, when veteran management leaves, they take their surplus of knowledge and wisdom with them. How can you adapt and thrive when change comes to your organization?

In the past few years, leadership professionals have talked about grit and resilience and how these characteristics are crucial for individuals and companies to survive in an ever-changing climate. More than that, though, we talk about adaptability, a nuanced version of grit. The outcome of resilience is survival in a time of change, while adaptability allows you to thrive.

Alexa Von Tobel, founder and managing partner of Inspired Capital, explains that “while resilience helps you weather the storm, it is adaptability that empowers you to harness its energy and steer towards unprecedented growth. It’s about thriving amidst chaos and evolving into your most formidable self.”

So, let’s talk about how you can adapt to changing leadership in your company—thriving instead of just surviving.

First, take ego out of the equation. I had a client (we will call her Heather) who had worked extremely hard to establish herself as a competent and hard-working employee, earning the respect of both her teammates and boss, who in turn gave her an abundance of freedom when managing her projects. He trusted her to handle challenging situations without much oversight.

When he retired and a new manager came in to take over, she felt like the rug had been swept out from under her. Whereas before she did not feel the need to impress or prove herself, now she had a more formal relationship with the new boss and found herself working harder than ever to achieve the respect that she had already gained from the previous manager.

Heather’s feelings were completely normal, but we worked on ways to keep her ego in check. When we focus more on what others think of us rather than what is best for a job or project, our intentions can often backfire, and we make more mistakes.

Heather had to remind herself that she already had the respect of everyone who knew her, and she should simply focus on the work that she does well and not on what the new boss thinks of her. His questions and follow-ups came from a place of curiosity and were the building blocks towards a place of trust. By taking out her ego, Heather became less defensive and allowed the questions of her new manager to open conversation and communication that paved the way to a sense of camaraderie and team mindset as time went by.

After putting your ego aside, offer assistance and guidance in the way you know how. As Heather explained her projects to the new supervisor, she was also able to gently educate him on company policy and protocols. She would tell him about what had been done previously without insisting that he do it the same way.

In fact, she discovered processes that could be improved and took advantage of the protocol conversations with her new boss to make suggestions for change. Not only would these changes help improve her department, but they also had the added benefit of adding to her value in his eyes.

A word of caution—while talking about a previous supervisor and protocols, be prepared to voice your opinion and support it with the facts that you have. However, it is completely up to the new leadership as to how they will proceed. Often, new leaders are happy to hear about previous decisions and protocols because it will help equip them with the information to make good decisions moving forward.

But remember my first word of advice if they go in a different direction from your suggestion—do not take it personally. Forget your ego and move forward the best that you can with the decision that was made. Supervisors not only take note of good suggestions but also how employees can pivot and adapt when decisions are made that are not their own.

To help guide you, write out your long-term visions to keep them clear to yourself and others. By defining your role to yourself and your goals for a five-year plan, then you are better able to keep your eyes on the prize without getting bogged down in ego, office politics, or shiny new projects/ideas.

Next, communicate your goals to your new boss. Schedule a meeting with them within the first few weeks of their start date to define your role. I can almost guarantee they will be impressed by your proactive attitude and desire to start off on the right foot. Once they understand your role and goals, they can also support you in achieving those goals—or redirect them slightly to something different. That communication can align your visions and provide you with a supporter of your goals rather than someone who gets in the way.

Lastly, stay patient. New leaders often feel quite a bit of pressure to take on a lot right away, and their focus may not be on creating top-notch relationships with their employees. Over time, they may relax a bit and are able to be more personable.

The professional relationship that you have with them may feel different from the one you had previously, but the important thing is that you are respected and can meet your goals. By keeping your pride at bay, proactively communicating your role and goals, offering insight when appropriate and staying patient, you can adapt and thrive through any leadership transition.