Category Archives: Blog

Expanding On The Understanding Of Mindset

In the 1960s, Dr. Thomas A. Harris wrote a revolutionary book, I’m OK-You’re OK, that explored the concepts of four major “life positions.” Over 50 years later, those amazing major concepts he explained are still being talked about and explored extensively in multiple fields.

There are variations on the original themes, but they all owe their origins to Dr. Harris. I’d like to share with you my take on these interesting and helpful ideas.

You can think of these ideas as being particular points along a horizontal axis and a vertical axis. The horizontal axis ranges from Minus Others to Plus Others, with the vertical axis ranging from Minus Me to Plus Me. The four quadrants consist of +,-; +,+; -,+; -,- if looked at in a clockwise fashion.

Thus, we end with a graph that looks like this:

The sought-after state is the +,+ where both participants or both groups are working together equally without any power deficits or negative emotions. In two of the other states, someone is operating from a fragile, less ideal position. In one state, both parties are working from a place of weakness and/or anger.

In the ideal state, both parties are coming from a place of confidence, cooperation, courage, creativity, and care.

It’s important to understand that the optimal state is challenging to maintain. For human beings, there is the ongoing possibility (and probability) of multiple state changes taking place in very short spans of time. Humans are capable (and likely) to experience multiple life positions just seconds apart.

The life positions change constantly throughout a conversation, a meeting and a day. As the stimuli, input, tones of voice, physical expressions and subject matter change with rapidity, the mindsets change nanoseconds behind. This results in multiple, sometimes conflicting chemical cascades in the brain.

It has been scientifically explained that neurochemical changes in the brain accompany specific life positions being utilized. The correlation between stressful mindsets and the production of cortisol in the amygdala results in brain “lockdown” of executive function and triggers the primitive flight-or-fight reaction. Also, prolonged periods of stressful events can raise cortisol levels.

Conversely, it has been shown that positive mindsets and the production of oxytocin result in high-level brain function and feelings of social inclusion and trust. Oxytocin can decrease anxiety and protect against stress, but laughing can lower cortisol levels.

Knowing that these chemical reactions are occurring and that they can be controlled by one’s mental state, it can be useful to remember the acronym STOP.

S stands for step back. It is important to pause, breathe and reflect.

T is for think. Helpful questions are:

• What is my life position right now?

• Is this position useful or not useful?

• What do I want?

The next letter, O, is for orientating. What is in your power to do to change your mood?

The P is simply to proceed when you have decided your best course of action.

It can be beneficial to contemplate the scenarios in your life and how you interact in them. Do you tend to fall into an “I don’t have value, but you have value” mindset when dealing with an authority figure? Do you often find yourself in an “I have value, but you don’t have value” position when dealing with a difficult co-worker who frustrates you? These situations are more common in the business world than you might think.

The truth is that you have the power to make the changes necessary to choose to operate in the “I have value, and you have value” life position most of the time. It may be challenging at first, but you’ll quickly find with a bit of conscious effort, you can improve relationships with coworkers, friends, and family.

 

 

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This article has previously been featured on Forbes

 

The High Cost Of Emotional Inflexibility

You’ve tried writing your affirmations and faithfully repeating them each day. You’ve tried not sweating the small stuff. You’ve made lists of goals and worked on being an effective executive. You’ve searched for excellence. You’ve tried to get a competitive advantage and learned that ego is the enemy. You’ve read so many management books your mind is spinning.

Is there something more basic you could be working on to make yourself more successful in business and in life? Something that’s not external, but something personal and very, very internal?

Many people, especially those who have a natural tendency to view life in an analytical way, may be missing something basic: the core values that make them who they are. It is so easy in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world to lose sight of the things that make each individual person who and what they are.

These values get lost in the noise of the internal monologue that makes up each human’s ongoing soundtrack. There are limitless combinations of the general negative mixtape that we hear inside without even consciously realizing it: shame, self-doubt, anger, fear of failing, fear of the new, fear of repeating old mistakes. You may not even realize how much this “best hits” playlist is holding you back. Every time you encounter a similar situation, your brain is probably queueing up the same song.

How are you supposed to ever achieve success with that noise undermining your energy and enthusiasm?

In her book, Emotional Agility, psychologist Susan David, Ph.D. stresses the importance of detaching oneself from this inner monologue. She says when people buy into those thoughts and treat them as facts, they “sap important cognitive resources that could be put to better use.”

Emotional inflexibility is keeping you trapped with these negative and nonproductive thoughts. The onslaught of change in today’s business environment can exacerbate this problem. If you’re constantly putting out fires, how are you ever going to find time to create a sea of change within yourself?

Workplaces are increasingly complicated. They are multigenerational, and there are so many gender issues and personality types to navigate. What can be done to create an inner environment of inspired thinking, synchronization and effective teamwork?

Until you can match up your work environment with your company’s core beliefs and values, you’ll continue to struggle. It’s also important to understand if your own values correlate with those of your company. It’s difficult to be successful or happy if those two are at odds with one another.

It will require some honest assessment on your part. What is your company’s mission statement? Does it resonate with you? What are your company’s stated core values? Core values are who you are, who you have been and who you will continue to be. They are what make you, you.

Now that you have a fair comparison, how many similarities are there versus differences? Are the differences slight or is there a sizable chasm? Armed with that information, it’s time to explore your options. How are you going to reach your personal and business goals? If the core values are a bad match, you might need a change.

You’ll need to develop a plan to get the intended outcome. Should you stay where you are, move to a different department or division, change companies or strike out on your own? Once you’re on your chosen path, you’ll need to do a regular check-in: Are former objectives still aligned with today’s goals? You might need to work on a course correction.

Staying accountable is tough. If you’re staying true to your core values, the negative inner chatter should be down to a minimum. If you’re actually doing the work and staying on track, those greatest hits shouldn’t be playing in your head all the time.

It’s valuable to have a mentor on your side who can tell you when you’re reverting back to emotional inflexibility and old habits. Find someone you respect with core values similar to yours. A colleague who has done her own work to develop emotional agility would be an ideal choice. This trusted advisor can remind you of your goals if you start to backslide or get distracted. Your mentor will also remind you to celebrate your successes while you’re learning to ban those repetitive, negative thoughts.

 

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This article has previously been featured on Forbes

Analytical Leaders: Five Key Tips To Increase Your Performance

Analytical leaders are renowned for their natural ability to analyze information using their critical thinking skills. They thrive in careers that others may find challenging, as they operate and even absorb information differently than most people.

Believe it or not, even the smartest, most rational and logical brain faces unexpected challenges in the business world. They can fall into the trap of relying too heavily on their left-brain skills, and it can hinder their success as a leader.

In order to grow as a leader and uncover unnoticed blind spots, it’s important to consider these challenges. Having more responsibility and moving up in leadership roles requires developing new skills to lead effectively and to work through others. Traits that have in past roles been strengths can turn into weaknesses when they’re not balanced in a leadership position. Being aware of these potential blind spots is key when developing optimal performance.

Here are five tips analytical leaders can leverage to increase their performance:

1. Develop intuitive decision making.

Leaders have to make quick decisions; sometimes, they have to make those decisions without all the information available.

For an analytical leader, this can go against their very nature. In order to feel comfortable, they want to go through all the data and establish connections. They may forget to be inclusive of others, relying solely on their own thinking, because that behavior has been successful for them in the past.

In order for analytical leaders to thrive and make the right decisions (even without having all information they think is necessary), they need to develop a sense of intuition by considering data that is not rational and begin to mature their right-brain skills.

2. Let go of structure.

Analytical people tend to be very organized and structured, which does not always support other team members in their work progress. Perfectionism has the potential to slow down processes and stunt others in their creative thinking.

Being able to let go of structure and operate well, even when things are not perfect, is essential when stepping into a leadership role. The “perfect” scenario rarely exists in today’s hectic business atmosphere. Analytical people need to see the value in developing a sense of groundedness and see the bigger picture even when there are chaos and a lack of systems in place.

3. Enhance your communication skills.

Professionals who tend to be more analytical often prefer to communicate using facts and data. They can find it difficult to show enough emotion or appropriate empathy, which can make interpersonal interactions uncomfortable.

In order to create a supportive office environment, leaders benefit from enhancing their communication skills. This is especially true in a leadership role, where the main responsibilities are to manage people, work through them and encourage and inspire them to take action. 

It’s especially beneficial to develop the ability to effectively communicate intentions. This is not solely for the sake of achieving results and hitting goals most efficiently, but to enable others to work with clarity and focus in an inspiring environment. Communication skills are vital to interpersonal relationships, in the office as well as during after-work hours.

4. Embrace teamwork.

Analytical leaders often prefer to work by themselves, thereby impeding team cohesion. However, working in teams is inevitable when your responsibility includes managing them. This emphasizes how important the development of vital skills such as delegating roles and responsibilities is to the success of the unit.

In order to optimize productivity and potential, analytical leaders need to learn to give others the opportunity to contribute to projects as well. The transition from a “me” environment to a “we” environment can be especially challenging for analytical mindsets.

5. Maintain productivity.

Although everyone procrastinates occasionally, an analytical personality may do it more often because they lose time researching information and wanting to wait until the results are perfect. Sometimes, trying to accomplish every task perfectly holds one back from accomplishing anything at all. Paralysis through analysis is very common for people who think a lot and who may even measure their worth through their results.

It’s important to be incredibly productive and to be able to execute rapidly when it comes to leading a team to results.

Being analytical is an amazing trait that enables people to have a great career. But in order to be successful in a leadership role, it’s important to develop right-brain skills such as creating and maintaining high-energy relationships and communicating effectively. There needs to be a focus on nurturing the skills to work through others instead of leaders doing all the work themselves.

When stepping into a leadership role or wanting to optimize potential, becoming more of an all-rounder as a person can be very beneficial for the leader, their team, company culture and, ultimately, their bottom line.

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This Article has previously been featured on FORBES

Why Organizations Need Neuro Activity, Not Just Intelligence

What do neural connections and healthy organizations have in common? And what can we learn from how healthy cells interact with each other and use that information to improve the quality of organizations today?

Getting to the next level of greatness essentially comes down to better relationships, which depends on the quality of conversations within a company.

Judith Glaser, leading author of Conversational Intelligence, explains in an interview that seemingly beautiful and healthy looking cells that don’t touch each other are considered unhealthy neural connections. They lose their ability to communicate with each other and fail to die when they’re damaged. Therefore, they reproduce uncontrollably.

Taking a look at how this so-called conversational intelligence is influencing how well companies do, we see that weak organizations don’t have a clear vision. They lose their awareness and the ability to give meaningful feedback.

Dialogue between executives and employees is rare, separating the customer and the decision makers. It ultimately has workers execute against issues that are important. Meanwhile, in thriving companies, there is active communication and connection. People navigate, engage and create roadmaps to achieve the company’s goals. They’re in dialogue to constantly improve and focus on growth. Each conversation that takes place has the opportunity to be transformational and bring success.

Bringing connection to the workplace and inspiring people to open up, share ideas and solutions and feel comfortable with giving and receiving constructive feedback determines the amount of oxytocin that is released in the brain. Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that is produced when we’re bonding with and trusting others. Just by elevating oxytocin, the dynamic in teams change drastically. On the other hand, there is cortisol, which is produced when we experience fear, feel judged or dictated. Cortisol makes people close up and pull back — it creates separation.

Here are three powerful ways to increase oxytocin and reduce cortisol in order to create powerful organizations and build connection:

1. Introduce dialogue.

Unlike commanding and dictating a team, creating a dialogue between executives and workers is extremely important to elevating oxytocin. When people not only feel listened to but are also asked to speak up and take responsibility for solving a problem, they start co-creating, getting involved and become inspired to find a solution. Often times, C-level executives are somewhat disconnected from practical challenges that affect the customer. Therefore, encouraging workers to share their point of view, brainstorm and take responsibility not only speeds up the process but actually builds deeper connection and trust.

2. Encourage co-creating.

To navigate, communicate and co-create is to give employees a challenge to solve as a team instead of involving executives. This approach helps in moving their perspective from “I” to “we” and lifts the team and each leader to a completely different level. Instead of judging how things are done, showing appreciation increases oxytocin and the team creates a powerful bond.

3. Replace expectation with aspiration.

The intention with aspiring is to bond, focus on the future and let go of being right. Replacing expectation with aspiration is to actively create the future, which may even exceed what was demanded from decision makers. It leaves space for creativity and for people to solve problems in the most effective way for them. It gives the team the chance to perform at even higher levels.

Active communication is essential to the success of an organization. The human need to connect and feel understood is the foundation we have to build upon if we want teams to thrive. Focusing on elevating oxytocin in the brain is what makes the most important difference. Building an unshakable connection between leaders and their teams is crucial to the success of companies. To give people the chance to speak up and be listened to sparks inspiration, resourcefulness and engagement, which ultimately leads to faster and better solutions.

Just as healthy neural connections should be in relation to one other, successful companies mimic that concept and communicate intra-organizationally.

 

This Article has previously been featured on FORBES