Navigating Social Events Outside Of Work
Leaders recognize that positive social interactions are a critical factor in creating cohesive and productive teams, so many companies are delegating internal social committees that plan quarterly events to bring co-workers together in an informal way. These events are often obligatory to attend during the workday, and employees benefit from a break from the routine and a casual way to mix and mingle. These events also provide a chance for people to get to know each other on a more personal level, which can then transfer into their professional working relationships.
I have seen positive outcomes from these business-led get-togethers. However, navigating social events outside of working hours is trickier. While there are benefits for co-workers to socialize and get to know one another outside of a work environment, they can also take away from an individual’s work-life balance.
Employees in a company have a wide range of personalities, values and stages of life. While some people do not mind engaging with co-workers outside of office hours, others would prefer to stay home. They may have a family or a long commute that prohibits their schedule and blocks flexibility.
For example, one of my clients—let’s call him Michael—consistently declines golf invitations from his colleagues. He is happily married with four children and chooses to spend his weekends at home with family, spending Saturdays at baseball tournaments, impromptu ice cream trips, picnics with old friends or time in the backyard. He strives to spend quality time with his family, which makes him happy. His commitment to a healthy work-life balance is admirable.
However, he recently found out that one of his single colleagues was chosen for a promotion over him. Coincidentally, this co-worker accepted the Saturday golf invitations, and so my client feels that his colleague had an unfair social advantage and therefore received the promotion.
This situation is tricky. No one should be “punished” for choosing to spend their off-work hours at home, but it is also true that sometimes work opportunities happen at social events outside of the office. Choosing not to participate in social events with colleagues or bosses can potentially be detrimental to your growth potential at work.
So what is the solution? Creative brainstorming.
First, Michael sat down and gave serious thought to what he envisioned his work-life balance would be. He talked it over with his wife, and together they decided that weekends would continue to be time spent with family, but he could make time on weeknights for dinners or drinks with colleagues two to three times a month.
Instead of simply declining weekend invitations, he made counteroffers to the people from whom those invitations came. If he was invited to a barbecue on the weekend, he suggested a coffee or dinner during the week instead. This way he showed that he had an interest in getting to know that person while still holding boundaries for his weekend time. He would still get a social moment without taking time away from his family.
Over time, he reported that his colleagues accepted his alternative offers to meet up and respected his boundaries. He no longer feels out of the loop when others meet on Saturdays, and he is optimistic about his growth potential within the company.
Managing social obligations and events outside of work can be challenging because we know that maintaining a healthy work-life balance is nonnegotiable. However, fostering positive relationships with our co-workers is essential for productivity and morale in the place where we spend most of our day. These social relationships can not only affect our daily work environment but also our potential for growth. Knowing how to hold boundaries while also creatively brainstorming like Michael can help you navigate those social work invitations when they come your way.