Adapting From A ‘Me’ Mindset To A ‘We’ Perspective

“I just don’t understand,” Melissa confided over coffee in our recent leadership coaching session. “I excelled in school and always received praise from my bosses, so when this subpar annual evaluation came out, I was devastated.”

Melissa (whose name and details I’ve changed for confidentiality) is a competent and intelligent businessperson. She was hired straight out of an Ivy League school to work in the financial district in NYC. Her financial expertise and results-driven attitude soon landed her a promotion that put her in a leadership role over a team of five analysts, but the transition has been a struggle.

It’s not just her; this story of adjusting to the complexities and nuances of a new leadership role is common.

From Personal Accomplishments To Team Performance

The Harvard Business Review explains that workers who can drive results or possess technical expertise are often promoted to leadership positions. But in these leadership positions, the metrics for success have suddenly changed. In their previous roles, they were rewarded for “personal accomplishments [and now they] must learn to recalibrate to a definition of success based on the team’s collective performance.”

In other words, newly promoted leaders may have been operating under a “me” mindset and are abruptly expected to switch gears and operate under a “we” perspective. The primary focus of a leader is no longer based on their individual goals but rather on how well they manage their direct reports—i.e., the success of their team.

For many—like Melissa—this switch in perspective can be quite a disheartening struggle. What can help?

From Narrow Focus To The Big Picture

The first step is to slowly transition from a narrow, individual focus to that of the company’s big picture.

For some people, switching from “me” to “we” can feel like a loss of control because the leader’s gauge for success is more than just what they can accomplish on their own. When promoted, managing the goals and workflow of others can feel less tangential and a bit out of their control. You cannot do everyone’s work, after all—delegation is essential.

However, because senior leaders are a part of directing and guiding the big picture of the company, they actually have more control than before—not less. Being able to widen the lens from an individual piece of the puzzle to a company-wide focus is the first step in coming into your power as a leader.

From Individual Goals To Collective Success

Next comes effective goal-setting. During their transition period, a newly assigned leader should observe, research, listen and conduct conversations with colleagues about the company’s short- and long-term goals, its trajectory, expectations and how each team will contribute to those goals. Then the new leader can lay out specific objectives and progress markers for their team.

Within these goal-setting conversations, clear roles need to be laid out so that everyone understands their area of responsibility and can take pride in it. It might also be valuable to hold team meetings in which everyone hears about the roles, objectives and responsibilities of other members so that they can see how each person’s work interweaves with their own and how each person contributes to the group in a unique way.

This participation will help a leader take ownership and pride in the team’s work so that seeing team goals come to fruition is as satisfying as celebrating their own success. In this way, leadership should lead to more, not less, pride and satisfaction, as leaders enjoy the achievements of everyone on the team.

Final Thoughts

This switch from “me” to “we” takes time, repetition and the “retraining” of thoughts and ideas. Patience is key. Taking leadership classes or enrolling in coaching sessions can also be helpful because an outside observer can help course correct or introduce concepts that expand one’s perspective.

Teamwork can be challenging at first, but practice makes progress. Leaders who embrace the “we” perspective often find that their roles are even more fulfilling than they ever thought possible.

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