Let’s talk about etymology for a second. The prefix “mis” means incorrect or wrong, denoting an overall negative connotation to the word. You can have misgivings (bad feelings), misfortune (bad fortune) and misbehavior (bad behavior). You can have misadventures (unlucky adventures) or be misunderstood (understood poorly). The word “mistakes” falls into the category of negative-sounding words, and we want to avoid them. However, it’s time we take a closer look and redefine the concept.
‘Missed-Takes’
Firstly, mistakes are learning opportunities, and I submit that we get rid of the word “mistake” and use “missed-take”—a term trademarked by my company and me—instead. After all, we do not make an error and then move on to the next thing without trying to make it right. If we did that, we would not learn anything.
When I explain this concept to my clients, I often use a very basic analogy: school homework. Students, from a very young age, are asked to complete worksheets or projects at home to help practice concepts they learn in the classroom. Whether it’s math, science or reading, they often make mistakes. The fantastic thing about homework is that it’s designed for practice (though in the moment, those same frustrated students may not agree). Students are meant to make mistakes so they can learn from their errors and try again. Instead of leaving the answer wrong, they keep trying until they get it right. Sometimes it can take two or more tries for a student to find the correct answer, but they are encouraged to keep going until they have learned the concept and can answer correctly. They learn from their missed-takes and keep going until they get the answer right. Only then can they move on to more advanced work, where the cycle will repeat, and missed-takes will again be made.
As adults, we can remember those life lessons from the hours of homework we were expected to do as children. If at first you do not succeed, try, try again. Imagine you create a presentation for your team or manager and later find out it has faulty data or punctuation issues. You do not just leave it as it is. No, you revise the information and put together another improved draft. You had a missed-take, and now you are doing a retake. Afterward, make note of what you have learned. Should you run the numbers a few times before turning in a project? Do you need to ask a co-worker for feedback before setting up the final draft? Have you learned how to properly spell a tough word? There are always things to learn.
The concept of missed-takes works for social faux pas as well. Imagine taking a snack out of the company fridge, thinking it was for the group but later finding out that it was meant for someone else. That is a missed-take. You apologize and buy them another one. Not only have you done a retake, but you have also learned that in the future, you should double-check before taking anything from the fridge.
Mistakes insinuate that you have done something wrong or “bad.” However, when we change our mindset and start calling them missed-takes, we give ourselves the freedom to do a retake. We see it as a learning opportunity that will help us grow instead of something we should feel shame about.
Where in life do you think you can make that thinking shift?